


tattoo me like one of your french girls

by tofhoney



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Drunken Confessions, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, i guess? i'm not sure if this counts as a confession, it's a miracle that lance remembers all of this the next day, keith really doesn't understand drunk people, tattoo artist keith, the garrison trio are still bffs tho so don't worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2018-08-12 20:48:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7948519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tofhoney/pseuds/tofhoney
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I can't tattoo my name on your ass while you're drunk, come back tomorrow if you still want it," Keith frowns.</p><p>And attempts to ignore Pidge and Hunk cracking up in the background.</p>
            </blockquote>





	tattoo me like one of your french girls

**Author's Note:**

> hi! if ur actually here to read the story, thanks so much! comments/kudos, etc. are appreciated!
> 
> (16.4.17) edit: what the hell is this shit????????? 300+ kudos????????? I LOVE YALL
> 
> (17.4.17) edit: i'm doing revisions today so expect slight changes in the story... still has the same basic premise though!

Keith lets out a gust of wind as he lands ass-first on the seat. Today had been particularly tiring when it came to his job; while he was glad he was finally pitching in for his rent, he also wished he had picked an easier one to manage.

If Keith is honest, (which he usually is, he is Keith, after all) he'd tell Shiro that he looks like a mess. His eyes, normally bright, are dark and sleepy, and the tuft of gray hair at the front of his scalp is mussed into a nasty cowlick. Honestly, he's not really sure where he stands in this mess. Allura is truly a saint for loving his brother.

The saddest truth is that Keith probably looks worse.

Shiro sighs and drops into the matching chair across from Keith, raking a hand through his hair and unfortunately making it way worse.

Keith wants to stifle out a giggle, but in his tattoo-hell induced state, the best he can do is groan. Shiro looks up, slightly surprised that Keith has made any noise before he sighs, and he can see the wheels in his brain turning. Shiro had always been a thinker; Keith was a "dooer", meaning that he went out and did whatever he wanted without thinking about the consequences. It was just a nice way of saying that he was impulsive.

"You know, it was a Saturday, and that's when we get most of our customers," Shiro ponders thoughtfully.

"No shit, Sherlock," Keith groans out, the beginning of a smile creeping onto his face.

Shiro smiles back in his direction before both boys turn towards the ping of a smartphone. Shiro gingerly picks it up, balancing it in one hand while he mouths to Keith. "It's Allura," he whispers around a grin.

Keith snickers and leans closer. Any opportunity to make Shiro look like a dork in front of his girlfriend is appreciated. He already is a dork; Shiro is just really good at hiding it, using his tattooed arms and buff stature as props.

Allura's high voice cracks into the phone, "Hi Shiro, sweetheart, how's work?"

Shiro groans, "You don't know half of it, baby, listen..." Keith rolls his eyes. This happens on a daily basis, and the fact that Shiro sounds so distraught is kinda worrying to him.

Well, there goes Keith's entertainment for the day.

The door jingles open, cutting off the sound of the shop's Pandora playlist with a slight creak. The people who have just entered are already causing a ruckus; Keith can hear a cackle of laughter from behind the staff room's door. Shiro sends a pained look in Keith's direction, and as much as Keith doesn't want to get up, this is what his job entails. He'll do it if Shiro gets more time with his girlfriend, but only because God knows he needs it.

Keith plasters a fake smile on his face and goes to stand by the front desk. "Hi, how can I help you?" he asks in his best customer-friendly voice.

It takes a while before Keith can fully understand who is in front of him, but when he does, he wishes he had whined enough to cause Shiro to cave and take the job.

The boy has a long face, slightly dark in color with round, brown eyes and perfectly messy bedhead hair the color of dark chocolate. He's very, very pretty (can a boy be pretty? Keith is pretty sure that the guy standing in front of him is proof of that). And worst of all, the boy is clearly drunk.

Keith says a silent prayer before he sighs and looks up at the grinning boy.

He hates the boy. He hates his hair, he hates his height which is at least three inches taller than himself (why is he so short, huh? Does God have something against him?). He hates his friends, the two giggling forms hidden behind him.

He takes some time to roll his eyes over the two forms, one very short and slim, the other very tall and wide. The short one has glasses bigger than their face that matches their smile. Carrot-colored hair and a baggy green shirt. They smile easily, obviously a bit tipsy, and Keith wrinkles his nose. They look like an anime character jumped out of his laptop and started parading around.

The tall one has an orange bandanna tied around their head and a green vest that looks ready to pop. He grins at Keith, waving a large palm through the air and nearly taking off a stack of designs. Keith winces, still attempting to smile.

Out of the bunch, Keith has to say he likes the anime character the best. He likes it when they stick out their hand and grin even wider. But only because he was sick of standing still awkwardly and waiting. He hates all of them. Period.

"I'm Pidge," they say, smiling.

The taller one follows anime's... sorry, Pidge's lead with a smile and, "I'm Hunk." Out of all three, Hunk seems the least drunk.

Keith's gaze turns to the first boy, who grins and says, "And I'm Mr. whatever-your-last-name-is." Keith turns red and the boy cackles.

Pidge shakes their head, "This is Lance. He wanted a tattoo,"

Keith coughs uncomfortably, "I can't do anything until I have his consent..." he starts.

Lance growls and leans in, the tip of Keith's ear touching Lance's lips, "You have my consent to do whatever you want, baby." Keith squeaks and takes a step back, cheeks somehow even redder. Lance leans back with a smirk and a light coloring on his cheeks.

"So," he says, "if you squeal like that on a day to day basis, does that mean you'll do it in the bedr-! Mmmphh!"

Hunk removes his spit covered hand from Lance's face. "Sorry about that, he's really flirty when he's drunk, sorry for wasting your time!" he mumbles, clearly flustered. Keith feels partly annoyed because of this; if he's so embarrassed, why don't they leave?

"Nonsense!" Lance cries. He squints at Keith's apron before ducking his head up and smiling, "I'm sure Keith would love to give me a tattoo!"

Keith wants Lance to turn around, walk out that door, and never, ever come in again.

"So," Lance says, casually swinging himself over the counter and landing on the floor next to Keith, their hands accidentally brushing. Keith rubs the place where Lance touched his hand swallows nervously. Lance is intimidating in a way that makes the loud and impulsive Keith strangely quiet.

Lance continues talking as if Keith was still listening, "-and I was thinking," Lance says, a dangerous glint in his eyes as he swivels to Keith, "that I could get your name somewhere."

Keith almost doesn't process what he's saying before it comes out of his mouth, "And where do you want that?" Lance grins and Keith freezes. Fuck. He's given Lance the perfect ammunition.

"I don't know where I want your name, but I know I want you all over my body," he says, obviously proud of himself.

Keith wrings his hands together anxiously. What's he supposed to say to that?

Pidge grins, "Get his name on your ass!"

Keith takes it back. He likes Hunk the best.

Lance smirks, "Whaddya say, babe? Your name on my ass? I'll give you something on your ass as well if you know what I mean," he snickers, wiggling his eyebrows. If Lance wasn't piss drunk, Keith would admit that he looks kind of cute.

He sighs, pretending that he didn't hear the last part.

"I can't tattoo my name on your ass while you're drunk, come back tomorrow if you still want it," Keith frowns. And attempts to ignore Pidge and Hunk cracking up in the background.

Lance pouts and fuck, Keith just might kiss him.

Nope, that's a lie, Keith won't kiss him.

Lance sighs, "Alright guys, let's go." Pidge giggles and mutters something that sounds suspiciously like "kiss".

They walk towards the door and Keith whispers thanks to the heavens. Until Lance whips around and blows him a kiss.

Keith spoke too soon.

♡

A few minutes later, Shiro turns off his phone and smirks up at Keith.

Keith sighs, "Oh, no, we are not talking about what just happened,"

Shiro just shrugs and says, "You and that boy would be cute together."

Keith wants to choke him.

But before he can, Shiro sighs, "Help me close up shop?"

♡

He would be lying if he said that he had forgotten about Lance. Truth be told, Keith couldn't stop thinking about him.

So, it's a pleasant (Keith has to admit that, otherwise he would be lying, but that doesn't mean that he likes Lance, right?) surprise when Lance walks through the front door the next morning, with Hunk and Pidge in tow.

Shiro whistles, "Keith, your boyfriend is here!"

Keith was lying last night. He wants to kill Shiro. Shiro sends him a smirk over his shoulder as Lance saunters up and places his forearm on the counter.

"So, sugar, came back so soon?" If Lance wants to flirt, Keith's gonna make sure it bites him in the ass.

Lance turns a violent shade of red and stutters out a "W-well..."

Pidge snorts, and elbows Lance.

He coughs before muttering out, "IreallylikeyoubutIwasdrunkyestersaysoIdidn'tgetyournumberbutcanIhaveitnow?"

Keith takes a moment to process the information before grinning and leaning up towards Lance.

"Sure," he snickers.

Lance smiles, and fuck it. Keith's mouth is on Lance's before any of them can process it, and it just feels so right. His lips are warmed and chapped, and he tastes slightly like coffee. Keith wraps his arms around Lance's and pulls him closer until Lance places his hands on his hips. Keith shivers slightly, smiling. Teeth clack against one another until he pushes back with a shiver and says, "Here."

"Huh?" Lance mumbles as Hunk and Pidge laugh in the background. Keith slides his number, written on a scrap of paper with a smile.

Lance smiles crookedly back. "I'll call you," he says as he's dragged outside by a hysterical Pidge.

"Yeah," Keith mutters, "please do that."

He barely has time to register Shiro's smirk before he hears the jingle of the front door opening with a new customer.

**Author's Note:**

> ireallyshipthat is my tumblr~


End file.
